I'm bad with names, so I'm just going to call you "stupid". That ok by you?

The signs of the times are here. Public schools are failing, and have been for decades it appears. Could there possibly be this many stupid people?


Now, I know what you’re thinking. “This couldn’t be what it looks like. Who in the world would have a sign stating that a parking space is temporarily closed cemented into said parking space?” A city official from the south, that’s who. The thing you must remember is that this is Georgia, where rednecks run free and unchecked in society. I can only imagine what Alabama’s version of this mishap would be (Misspelling the word “temporarily”, perhaps?).

Clearly, we have ourselves a dilemma. There is something wrong with this picture. This sign has been right there on Main Street in my town for over four years. The issue we find ourselves deliberating here is “What constitutes temporary?” Asphalt typically lasts ten to twenty years, and sometimes longer. So basically, once we’re all flying around in hybrid jetpacks and Jetson’s cars, this parking spot will be open. That is, if we are to believe the sign.

This represents all that is wrong with the bureaucracy today. The parking space cannot simply be left alone to be a bit smaller than normal or efforts made to eliminate it completely. There has to be a $200 sign telling you that you temporarily can’t park there. One would assume that once cars become two feet shorter or the space magically assumes standard proportions that it will then be open and the sign removed, but I’m not betting for either of those things to happen.

We as a society just like making official-looking signs for no good reason. It makes us feel smart. It makes us look professional. It gives us something to do. Despite that fact that we are dumb, non-professional slackers who could probably be doing something much more productive, we still find it necessary to make government-certified, expensive, and pointless signs to state the obvious.

Want proof? Look around at your local grocery store or public school. Notice the sign right before the speed bump? And do you see what it says? “Bump”. Thank God for that sign because otherwise I would have sped right over that giant, yellow, concrete protrusion from the ground without a second thought. How about those “slippery when wet” signs? Talk about a life-saver. I was always under the impression that the more wet things got, the dryer they became.

So, the point I am making here is hurray pointless signs! They make the dumb ones of us feel smart and make the smart ones of us laugh. In the astute words of Forrest Gump, “Stupid is as stupid does.”